UC CANTA MAG ISSUE FOUR - Questions you've always wanted to ask

In this CANTA issue, I answered four questions that were asked to me by the University Student population - you asked, and I answered!

There is a mix of topics covered, which is one of the main reasons why I enjoyed this so much! I address grief, therapy, eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and being a highly-functioning mental illnes sufferer.

Perhaps there is something below that you've always wanted to know the answer to, but have been too scared to ask... well, enjoy now knowing the answers!

1. Grief only looks like crying

This could not be more wrong. We are all unique; we all process things differently. When I grieve, I turn into “practical-mode” – I stick as much as I can to my usual routine, keep busy, and provide practical assistance to others around me feeling the burden of what has happened. Others may cry, perhaps scream, you may become angry, you may hit the books hard, or whip up a culinary storm. You may want to talk to someone or you may not, you may need to take some time out of your usual schedule to process what has happened or you may need to continue on with your usual routine. You may participate in remembrance services or events, or you may prefer not to. Whichever way in which you decide to process and grieve, know that there is no “right” type, you need to do whatever it is that gets you through that time – provided you keep yourself safe and healthy.

2. Therapy is only for those “sick”

Fun fact: therapy can really help you work through some deep issue that you either didn’t realise you had, or didn’t know how much they were impacting your life. Don’t think about therapy as lying on a couch, talking about your feelings, and a counsellor constantly asking, “how does that make you feel?” – it’s quite the opposite. They are a person, just like you, so think of it as a chance to have a good chinwag to a complete stranger about everything and anything that has been bothering or worrying you, all the while completely knowing that they are privy to confidentiality. You’ll be surprised what things you can work through that will make such a difference in your life. Rough breakup or past relationship? Stress at your flat or home? Feeling directionless in your life? Having a hard time with food, substances, or addiction? Give it a try – you may find it quite freeing.

3. Eating disorders are for the skinny

I cannot stress this enough – eating disorders are not a “one size” thing! Not all people with low body weight have an eating disorder, and not all of us with eating disorders have low body weight. Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Over-eating/Binge-eating disorder, Restrictive/ Avoidance-food disorder… these illnesses are all built upon disordered and intrusive thoughts and belief, and not about what a person looks like. And, just because you, or your friend or family member, have gained weight does not mean that they no longer have their disorder. Weight is just a symptom.

4. What exactly is OCD?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or alternatively OCD, is when someone experiences an uncontrollable obsessive thought or uncontrollable compulsion. Commonly this looks like someone needing to complete an action or do something a certain way – for fear that something bad will result if not done. For me, my behaviours showed in the number of times I needed to lock my car, needing things to be in done in even numbers, not stepping on cracks, lining things up in a perfect row, and repeating certain phrases. This became rather debilitating and can really impact your daily living – but the intensity of this can vary among individuals.

5. How can you have “x”, but still work and study?

There is such a thing as someone with a mental illness, or mental health issues, being “highly functioning”. This means that we appear to have our lives put together rather well, looking as though we balance flat life, university study, a job on the side, and dabbling in some social b-ball on the side. What you do not see is the internal process that occur while we are doing such things, the long time we spent building up enough motivation to get out of bed or open that car door, the late nights spent thinking back on every action we did or didn’t take… the feelings and thoughts scream behind the eyes, and just because you don’t see or hear them does not mean that we are not struggling.

At the end of the day, the sooner we leave behind the stereotypes plaguing our culture of what mental illness looks like, or how you should behave in certain situations or the aftermath of tragedy – the better. If you have a question that have been too afraid to ask, and want answers, give us a bell!

Your friend,

- Rawing Meg

xx