It's Time - A Talk About Suicide

I always hope that my blog posts are relevant to you all – but it strikes a sad chord when the topic of the posts come from what has recently happened in New Zealand. I knew I wanted to talk about this, but didn’t know what to say about it, or when to bring it up; but it seems like now we need this the most – its time to talk about suicide.

New Zealand, a small nation and yet one of the highest suicide rates in the world.

688 beautiful, unique, worthy, loved, people fell victim to suicide last year.

Common comments around suicide are, “I didn’t even know they were depressed or struggling”, “they seemed fine”, “why would they do that to their family?” – and here in lies the problem. Society fails to make talking about our mental wellbeing state something we can feel we can talk openly about and not be outcasted or feared. We are oblivious to what is going on and neglect to ask the questions needed. We fail to see the true reasons behind a person dying of suicide. You may call it a selfish act, but you fail to understand that those people do not see it that way – but rather believe that it is easier for them not to be worried or concerned over and instead not be here at all.

There is suicidal ideation – where one thinks about the concept of death and killing themselves, and being actively suicidal – where one has plans and ideas in mind of how and when exactly to kill themselves. I am fortunate enough to say that I have never been actively suicidal in my struggles, but I know all too well through the experiences of some of those close to me. From what I have observed and been told – suicide is not something that they ever really want to do – it is merely a means and answer to the torment in their head.

I wish I didn’t, but death is constantly on my mind – wanting it, fearing it, favouring it. I don’t want it to be there, but it is, I have little control over the thoughts in my head – but I do have control over the power I give to them and what I do as a result of them, and so do you. I refuse to give in to any temptation or thoughts that cloud my head. I wish I could say how I do it, but I honestly don’t know. I just have hope and faith in what lies ahead in my life can be better – each day brings a new opportunity to fight back, and you bet your ass I give a fight.

Please, for the love of everything – do not avoid bringing it up because you are afraid of the answer, or don’t know how to do it; before you know it, it could be too late and the chance is gone forever. What I will say to any of you have had, or will have, the unfortunate personal experience with people you know passing from suicide – know that it is not your fault. Don’t let you carry the burden of “what if?” “If only…” – that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Instead, use that situation to increase your understanding of the human race, strengthen your awareness of what is going on within yourself and around you. Use your experience to ensure that at least one suicide does not happen next.

So, now begs the big question – how do we change this ‘688’ figure?

• We open up conversation

• We frankly discuss how we are going with those we love and trust

• We reach out to support and not see this as a sign of weakness of personal failure

• We look after the vulnerable of our society

• We continue to fight for better mental health services

• We take care of ourselves and keep ourselves safe – pushing on through recovery, blimps in the road, unfortunate circumstances

I refuse to let my life, and yours become number 689. I am here – reach out. I am always have an ear free to listen, eyes to read, a time available to meet and talk – don’t ever feel like that is not an option for you.

Take care, all of you.

Your friend,

Rawing Meg

xx