June - Men's Mental Health Month Guest: BlackDog Part 2 - DnA

I am delighted to provide you all another guest post from Dan, aka BlackDog.

This post delves deeper into depression and anxiety, and Dan's experiences with the two. Don't be put off if you are female! Just as I write things from my perspective, Dan writes things from his, both of which opinions are just as valid for any sex, gender, age, culture, religion, height, skin colour.... these words do not discriminate!

Enjoy!

- Rawing Meg xx

Part 2 - Scratching the surface. 

You may or may not be aware, but Depression and Anxiety are, in a nut shell (no pun intended), different versions of the same thing. Johann Hari, author of Chasing the Scream (first and last days of the War on Drugs) and Lost Connections, an amazing book about Depression causes and solutions, has described Depression and Anxiety (DnA) as two different cover versions of the same song. 

• Depression is the emo version, down beat, moody, sulky, dark, brooding. 

• Anxiety is the thrash metal or punk version. Screaming, tense, chaotic and aggressive. 

Depression is often described as the "Black Dog"... which is fairly insulting to dark furred breeds of mans best friend. My black Labrador boarder collie cross is a wonderful canine and I love him to pieces.

Alas, unfairly tarred... 

Depression for me is more like an immersive black cloud that swallows anything it touches, taking everything from you and giving nothing but negativity and guilt and pain and sorrow and soul destroying anguish.

We teach, in our Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) that symptoms have to be present for at least 2 weeks for it to be considered depression or a depressive episode. 

This is because Depression is different to Grief but can present the same. 

The thing about grief is, you tend to know why you’re grieving.

There’s a reason.

A source of the sorrow.

With grief, you also know what you’re going to get. It hurts, and it might hurt for a long time, but you know why.

Depression? 

Depression just takes without asking. It doesn’t give you a reason. There often isn’t a reason. That’s why people can sometimes unintentionally but ignorantly say “you’ve got nothing to be sad about” or “ you should be happy” ... It often makes things worse. 

Yeah, I know I should be happy, but I’m not.          

I must be broken. 

It’s what we tell ourselves. Thats the guilt we feel. But that’s not being fair on us. 

Depression, like a parasitic ninja. It embeds itself deep within your souls and sucks the life from you.

One minute you’re fine, then you wake up 6 months later and you don’t recognise your reflection...

Then you feel guilty because the mirror is dirty...

and the mirror is dirty because you haven’t cleaned in forever...

but cleaning is too hard, bed is easy...

I’m going back to bed...

because even though I slept for 16 hours yesterday I’m exhausted...

—————————————————————

And Anxiety! ... *shudders*... Let me tell you a thing or two about anxiety...

You know that deep breathing and pounding heart beat you can get when your nervous?

Or your get a bit sweaty?

Those jelly legs, that butterfly tummy or that feeling you so desperately want to get the F out of wherever you are? 

Those are actually good for you! Yeah, mind blown right? 

This is body’s defence mechanism and what’s even better is everyone has one of those... Well... Maybe except for those dudes who climb those super tall skyscrapers... Like, bro... I may be mentally ill but they’re bonkers...

My defence mechanism kicks in while watching those videos on my iPad...

Point is - Anxiety is normal.

When we focus in on the symptoms of anxiety and start to worry about getting symptoms, that’s when these symptoms can get worse and in turn lead to panic attacks... and Panic Attacks can be traumatic for everyone involved. I’ve found learning about my symptoms makes them easier to manage. I spot them early, acknowledge them, plan and adapt for them. 

This is why I seldom, if ever at all, wear light blue shirts or other colours that show up perspiration easily when I speak publicly... 

Meditation, relaxation training, breathing exercises, Shakti mats, music, carving wood, reading, learning, listening to podcasts about interesting stuff. All these I’ve found useful to cope with and manage my anxiety. [RawingMeg note: I also use my salt lamp, calming smells (e.g. lavender), walking, gymming, a cup of tea, knitting, cross-stitch, jigsaws, and taking myself for a drive to be helpful for me to. And, of course - planning and organisation!]

Look at me, capitalising D and A of Depression and Anxiety... Maybe I’m grammatically giving it too much power? ... D ‘n’ A? DNA... I guess it is part of us? It’s definitely part of me.

Until next time... 

BlackDog