Men's Mental Health Month Guest Post - Daniel, Black Dog Mental Health

In case you were not aware, June is Men's Mental Health Month.

For some silly and unnecessary reason, New Zealander's have an inability to be open an transparent about how we are mentally feeling.

"She'll be right" is the go-to phrase.

We offer a slap on the back, and an, "oh, harden up" to anyone looking or sounding like they are struggling.

Of us all, men especially are inclined to struggle with this Kiwi attitude - where we have built a society that does not see talking about mental health as an acceptable topic. Men have been labelled as the strong and physical ones, with emotions of a rock, and the expectation to be the solid foundation of relationships and families.

We all know that this expectation is stupid - all people have emotions, it is a part of being human. We can all be strong, just as we can also be weak and vulnerable. We can talk about our sore leg, similarly talking about a dark cloud in our mental thinking.

Daniel from Black Dog Mental Health delves deeper into Men's Mental Health - so enjoy the wise words below. Thank you, Daniel, for being so generous in offering your words on my platform on an issue I am passionate about, but you have the ability to speak more accurately about. The important skill of Mental First Aid makes a mention too - and this is something that I would thoroughly encourage all workplaces to fund and for everyone to learn.

Writers block, and wanting to talk to someone about who might be battling mentally, can be very similar... you want to say something, but have no idea what to say, where to say it or how to even broach the subject. With writing, once you’ve found that first word, the second word can come quickly; and, eventually, that first sentence is quickly followed by subsequent ones. Suddenly you’ve  been talking to someone for 2 hours about how depressed they’ve been and how they’ve been silently begging for help but no one has noticed.

Talking to a friend, a family member, or a work colleague  about mental illness can be hard. Shit, talking to a work colleague about what they did in the weekend can be torture sometimes, amirite? 

AND, in this day and age, the fear of offending someone can often supersede the desire to help someone you can clearly see struggling. That “what if?”.   

This is why learning Mental Health First Aid is an important tool to have in your mental tool shed. You know that shed? It’s the one on the top floor of your building that you spend a lot of time working IN but probably not enough time working ON. 

Physical first aid is lauded as being life saving and in work places having a ‘first aider’ is basically mandatory, certainly in bigger companies it is. Just in case Gary in outward goods cuts himself with a boxer cutter. We know why to do right? Wrap on something to try stop bleeding. Elevate body part if possible. If bleeding doesn’t stop, visits A&E or hospital emergency or call 111... We also know what to do if someone burns them self or breaks an arm.

Mental health first aid can be just as impactful and life saving its physical counterpart. 

Depression and Anxiety are two mental illnesses I didn’t safe guard myself against enough. My tool shed was full of holes, it had smashed windows and the door had just fallen off. Damn... it was near to collapsing.

I’m not really sure where my tool shed analogy came from, but it works, so let’s stick with it.

I had the equivalent of duct tape holding me together, and even that was wearing paper thin. 

I was battling depression and anxiety... or was it anxiety and depression.

There was definitely a lot of prescription medications and a lot of tears.

Like, a lot.

I’m not a particularly religious man but Noah had begun chopping down trees and shaping the timber... that’s how many tears... not even a slight exaggeration.

I still am battling depression and anxiety. There aren’t as many tears these days though. So, why? 

Well, I’d love to say I was magically cured. That I had bottled that cure and was currently selling that cure for 1 easy payment of $29.99. 

Maybe one day. 

For now, there’s more work involved, sorry...

I was working a job that had mentally taken its toll, self-medication had taken over and eventually driving to work one morning this all came to a head. 

The next year and a half was a journey of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication, psychiatrists, psychologist, anxiety specialists and trips to my family GP and to the pharmacy...  

So long house deposit savings! It was nice knowing you.

Moderate depression has a similar impact in terms of debilitation as a severe asthma attack or an MS relapse. 

Seriously.

PSTD has a debilitating impact similar to paraplegia. 

True story. 

I might be a lot of things, but when I felt like I physically could not get out of bed for 3 weeks, it wasn’t because I was lazy or faking it.

It was because my mental illnesses, my severe anxiety and depression was having a very physical effect on me.

Your friend,

Rawing Meg xx