Perspectives: Picking the Right Glass

So far, I’d like to think that what I have posted rings true and honest to you, the readers. This post may be on a slightly different level – although I am not going to lie or fake anything I say, it will be dealing with “what if complete recovery is not possible?”, “what if I cannot do what I used to, or what my peers can do?”, and “will life ever go back to ‘normal’?”. These are questions that we all have, and all would like to think that we will never have to seriously consider – but such situation can be the case for both the short and long term, which is why such an issue needs to be talked about.

• What if recovery is not possible?

For some of us, all be it a small proportion; our issues may become chronic illnesses and this is something we need to a) accept, and b) create a plan or idea of how we best manage our lives alongside an illness. It’s important to note that if this happens to you, it is not your fault, your parents fault, your therapists or health-carers fault – is sometimes just happens. If this happens, there is no use in being forever sad, angry, or spiteful about this, but we rather need to accept that this is the case and come up with ways that we can best live our lives and do what we want to do all while having an enduring illness.

• What if I cannot do what I used to do, or what my peers can do?

This can be a hard one to face – we don’t want accept a limit on what we can do because of an illness we have no control over and never wanted. The truth is, we just have to accept it regardless of whether it will be for the short or long term.

You may not ever be able to go back to competitive sports, or attend education or work on a full-time basis, or be able to have full reign over food without conversations arising from your parents or loved one. This will be hard to accept, tougher for some than others, but triggers for poor mental well-being are things that need to be delayed until we are in a better place or are things that we can accept that we may never be able to do again.

Having mental illnesses or struggles can change the way that people look at and care for you which we can have zero control over – but it all comes from a place of concern, love, and best interests; it may not always feel or come across like this, but it is the truth.

• Will life ever go back to ‘normal’, or the person who you were before?

Why would you ever want to be that person before this happened? Despite all of the struggles and hardship endured, there have been some hard lessons learned and immeasurable personal growth that could not be possible without experiencing what you have. We would never wish any hardship on others, but for those of us that experience hardship we need to accept it and think of it as an opportunity, not a consequence or burden we have to bare.

For me, I don’t want to go back to being that 14-year-old, self-conscious, unaware young thing. I have fallen flat on my face time and time again, I have hit lows that I have never thought possible, lost people and opportunities in which others took my place. But you know what? I have stood up every damn time and while this may have been hard, there has been something I have learned each time. I care less about what people think of me, I have tested my morals and values and made sure that I am content with who I am, I have learned who I love and can trust (and those I cannot) – every thing that has happened to me, through me, or by me, held some worth.

And as for normal – who the hell wants to be normal?! What does that even mean? That we are people others forget about? That we conform to what society tells us, or what we think it wants? That we live a life without spontaneity, excitement – or anything for that matter? The answer? We don’t want to be normal. We want to be whoever the hell we are and be sure damn proud of it.

The message? Perspective is key. There are two choices that we can pick from – look at the glass half-empty, or half-full. A glass half-empty means that we see that see our challenges as unbeatable battles, burdens we have to bare, and often results in thinking about things and acting on things with negative feelings and emotions. A half-full glass may be mentally harder to have, but oh goodness it is worth it. You see the challenges as opportunities that you face with lessons and growth on the other end. You don’t see illness as burdens, but rather things that has happened to us for whatever reason that may be, and not letting this impact on the way in which we can live.

Every day you have a decision, a decision that will dictate how you experience and feel through that day, what actions you choose to make, and how you interact with others. That decision may not be easy, and the first option may not always be the in the true best interest for you. You may very well pick a different glass each at each opportunity given to you, and that's okay too. Just be sure that you take time when picking a glass, and make sure you are happy with the one you choose.

Your friend,

Rawing Meg

xx