Rawing Meg - Beyond the Illness

By now, I have told many stories and given my opinion and advice in a variety of mental health-related topics – but what I have skipped over (partially unintentionally) who I am, beyond my diagnoses. This is quite common among people with health issues – we lose who we are, what we like, our aspirations and dreams; all due to the overwhelming consumption mental health has on both the body and mind. I am going to struggle through this; for me, talking about myself makes me feel incredibly insecure and a bit funky – but I think this post holds importance of a different nature to my usual ones. It is key to think of who you are, and what makes you you, to separate your illness from yourself. Why? When the time comes (and it will) where you disorder no longer consumes your life, you need to know what else you like, enjoy, value, and desire in order to fill the rather large space in your thoughts and in your free time. It is too easy to let this free space become daunting and trigger relapses, do if you haven’t though about who you are beyond your eating disorder, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues – let this be a friendly reminder from me to you to do so.

So, the bit I have been postponing, eight facts and eight Q&As

1. I wanted to be a teacher when I was in kindy, then a checkout chick in primary school, in the hospitality industry during early secondary education, and now have my heart set on working in the medical field.

2. I am a true nanna at heart. I knit, I jigsaw, I cross-stitch, I love a good cuppa tea, I enjoy baking, early sleeper and early riser, and I bloody love a walk in the sun.

3. I spent almost two years depending upon nutritional drinks, Fortisips, to help me in my weight gain journey – and believe it or not I actually really liked the taste!

4. I am fiercely introverted, but if you break into my trusted friend safety circle, I can be pretty out-there

5. I have one older brother, H, who is 24 and lives with his girlfriend, A, in their own home! He is a qualified radiographer working at Christchurch Public Hospital and has done pretty darn well for himself! A is a secondary school arts and technology teacher. I am so lucky to have these two in my life, and always act as a source of inspiration for me when I am having it rough to keep on going

6. I used to swim and play hockey in my child and teenage years. Hockey dropped off the charts when high school came around, and swimming was halfway through high school when my eating disorder started – the mixture of weight loss, and outdoor pool, and inability to exercise all lead to me switching to coaching instead

7. I am really passionate about a holistic and wholesome approach to health and recovery. I have made changes to my entire lifestyle – my exercise regime, prioritising sleep, setting limits on the amount I let myself study, focusing on a wholefood but balanced approach to my eating, cutting out the toxins in my life, making sure I get a good dose of sunshine every day… the list goes on! Addressing my mental illnesses is not only focused around my psychological state – but has meant an overhaul of the entire way I live my life

8. My mum is both my best friend and literal life-saver. She is someone who I owe my whole life and existence to. While we have our grumps and eye-rolls at each other every now and then, but that is normal. She saved me when I was so entrenched in my disorder, made decisions for me when I was incapable of doing so, held my hand and cried with me for those tricky meal times, wrote me all the notes I needed to keep school from getting stressful, and provided oodles of laughs (with her and at her). She’s a champ, she’s my inspiration, she’s my hero

9. Favourite Colour? Has to be a golden yellow, or a burnt sunset orange

10. Where have I traveled? I have only been across the ditch to Aussie – Brisbane, Gold Coast, Cairns and Port Douglas, Melbourne, and Sydney

11. Morning or night? Definitely morning! I am up with the sun and I absolutely love it! There is a certain feeling of invigoration that comes with it that gets a little addictive

12. Do I work outside of uni study? I am working in both the public hospital care system as a hospital aide – and have been for a year, and at a local fruit and vege shop coming up to five years in February

13. Favourite fruit and vege? Top two of each as its too hard to pick! Fruit: blueberries and tamarillos. Vege: cucumber and mushies!

14. Recommended health/wellness podcasts? The Healthcode, Deliciously Ella, Feel Better Live More (Dr Chatterjee), Fit & Fearless, The Eating Disorder Recovery Podcast (Tabitha Farrar)

15. Best advice you’ve received? From one of my favourite movies, The Dead Poet’s Society, by one of my favourite actors, Robin Williams, “Carpe Diem. Seize the day, make your lives extraordinary”

16. Best advice you can give? The sooner that you realise that you are worthy, that you do mean something, and that there is a place in life for you – the sooner you will see some true changes in your life.

So, that was much harder than I thought it would be – hence this post being a few days late… but nevertheless I hope you all learned something, reflected on yourself, or just spent a good few minutes reading something you may forget in the next hour…. Regardless – I thank you for coming along for the ride, and here’s to the journey to come.

Your friend,

Rawing Meg xx