Reflections and Resolutions Part I - The Eight taken from Twenty-Eighteen

The beginning of the new year brings with it an array of reflections on the year that has been, along with the hopes of what the year to come will bring. It is hard to believe that 2018 has almost come to an end, because I feel like it has only just begun. It was busy and fast-paced; filled with a number of trips, concerts, university events, and unexpected surprises that came one after the other.

When we look back on our lives, it can be all too easy to focus on the negatives rather than the oodles of positive highlights that we experienced. So, this post will be about my 8 key lessons I learned in 2018, and some advice that you all can take on board, if you like, to ensure that 2019 starts off on the right foot.

1. You are the # 1 priority – simple. You cannot help each other if you are not helping yourself first. Filling up someone else’s cup by emptying your already half-filled cup does not end well for you – you will become tired, upset, and find yourself struggling with your wellbeing more so than before. Do not see a weekly walk in nature, a massage, a gym class, a drink at a café, purchasing a top or some jeans, or buying a new body lotion should not be seen as something you need to deserve. Just as you visit people for your physical health, you need to do things to keep your mental health in check too.

2. Accept your limits and know when to and when not to test them. You do not need to say “yes” to every offer thrown your way if you know it will be too much and the negatives outweigh the positives. For me, this was shortening the length of my holiday’s – but not cancelling them entirely, it was going to Melbourne for a concert alone – but not meeting up with a good friend while I was there to keep my anxiety around the trip contained, and celebrating my 21st birthday with a celebration involving food – but instead of going out we had a chef come in to cook a customised 3-course meal that I selected

3. Cut the people from your life who bring you down – I have learned that some people are toxic to my mental health, and as much as I appreciate and value them, I need to put limits on how much I spend time with them for the sake of my own mental wellbeing. This may sound a bit savage, but if I leave a catch-up or event feeling more deflated or negative than when I entered – as much as I care for that person, I need to recognise that I cannot do such things on a regular basis. Additionally, the 'unfollow' button has become a regularly used button on my social medias – I do not need to follow a person whose posts make me self-conscious or send out a negative message. I can recognise their struggles, or the message that they are trying to give – but if it does not aid in my wellbeing and recovery, it gets an Au Revoir! from me

4. Make the most of your family and friends around you – with the unfortunate passing of several people I was lucky to encounter, I have learned to not take those around me for granted. Sure, my parents may give me an eye-twitch from time-to-time, I may get in a bit of a tiff with a friend or cousin, but at the end of the day there is an undeniable love and appreciation for them that I am always to see and value. My family in bloody awesome, and I have people I am so blessed and proud to call my friends and workmates – their existence will no longer be taken for granted and making them aware of their importance to me is no longer something I keep in my head

5. Learn to be comfortable being alone – after all, we are the only constant that we will have throughout our entire life. Being able to take yourself out for a drink or lunch, going for a walk without music or a podcast playing, going for a scenic drive “just because”, and finding solo hobbies that you can do are the best things you can do for yourselves. I have thoroughly enjoyed re-igniting my interest in knitting, smacking out some good ol’ jigsaws, and writing this blog! These activities are all things that I do by myself, and goodness it feels good to not have to feel dependent upon people in order for my life to be full or have meaning

6. You cannot escape change forever – it is inevitable, sometimes unexpected, and you need to learn how to deal with it. Moving houses was something that brought around much anxiety for me. While it was an exciting process, and I love the new home now, the thought of moving from a “safe” zone to one I had not yet deemed “safe” was terrifying. But I knew I had to do it, so I broke it down and did things at my own (but steady) pace. I packed when I could muster it, discarded things I held on to for too long, moved my room in stages, and visited the house before we officially moved in. This whole process taught me a valuable lesson – change is not always bad; and if you can see it coming, prepare for it as much as you can and have a plan of action. All of this will help you deal with any unexpected changes that pop up in your life

7. The body is an amazing machine – you breathe without thinking, you can walk, talk, chew, and sniff without giving a conscious command to do so. I am sooo over taking my body for granted! It is so much more than just a number on a scale, it gets my from A to B, it makes sure I have energy to do what I want to in my life, it enabled me to travel overseas and attend amazing concerts, I have built and strengthened muscles so I am now able to do things I couldn’t 12 months ago, it lets me interact with my family and friends… the list is endless! Stop looking at yourself as just a shell of a being, and start appreciating what that shell is and can do

8. If you don’t try you will never know – regardless of whether you succeed or fail. There is a 0% chance of a good thing happening if you don’t give it the chance to do so in the fist place. Stop letting assumptions or thoughts about what you *think* will happen cloud the possibilities of what *could* actually happen.

The next post on the blog will be a Part II to this topic – looking more at resolutions, new goals, and how to ensure that 2019 is set up to be a goodie.

Until then! Your friend,

Rawing Meg

xx