The Ache of Feeling Alone

You’ve probably seen the pictures or have heard about the phrase of “you can be in a room full of people and still feel alone” – and there is a reason it sticks around; no matter how many people you are around, or how many people you have as friends, relations, or family ties with, you can still feel like you are the only person in the world and that no one understands/accepts/acknowledges you.

This topic is a rough one for me, as it is something that I struggle a lot with. Don’t get me wrong, I have such an amazing and loving relationship with my immediate family and even more extended relations, and am blessed with some of the best friendships, albeit a small group (but I’m not complaining – quality over quantity people!). Despite all of this, it is not uncommon for me too feel absolutely alone and lost – and no matter what the effort of that others or myself do to change this feeling, most of the time it sticks.

Let me also state that there is a difference between being lonely and being an introvert – some people can be one, the other, or can be both; and that is fine whichever way you are. An introvert is someone who commonly keeps to themselves, typically favouring quiet and low-stimulus environments, and are happy in their own company. A person who feels alone or lonely can experience this regardless of what they do, the company they keep, the number of social interactions had, your relationship status, anything.

This feeling can be a result of being excluded, of a particular experience or situation or person/s, or from absolutely nothing at all. It can last for a moment, an hour, a day, a week or longer. At times, we are able to lessen this feeling, and other times we are unsuccessful no matter how hard we try – both of which are completely fine (despite the first being the more preferred option).

Here are few tips that you can do to help prevent the feeling from coming, from lessening the feeling when it hits, and from helping it go away when it strikes:

• Get out of your current environment. I don’t really care where – it can be to your mothers or friends place, to a park or outside, to a local café or library – a change of scenery can sometimes be all you need.

• Pick up the phone and give someone a buzz, and I don’t just mean a text, Facebook Message, or Snapchat. Hearing someone’s voice, or even better seeing them in person, can be beneficial in shifting your attention from within yourself. The chats don’t could be a deep-and-meaningful, or it could just be about current events – any chat can be a good chat.

• Get lost in what you love, or used to love – a hobby, a book, the outdoors, a game or series on the television, a baking or cooking session. Alternatively, get some shit done that you have been meaning to do – meal prepping for the week, cleaning the bathroom or kitchen, washing the car, repairing those clothes, or finishing that craft project you started three months ago.

One of the main things to know is that it is fine to feel alone, or like you are all by yourself in things; it may not be a pleasant experience – heaven knows I don’t want to feel the way I do – but hating myself or denying that I feel this way will only make things worse and persist longer. While people may be the last thing that you want to be in contact with, sometimes it is about need.

We are naturally social beings. We are there for one another, whether you realise it or know it yourself.

There is always an open ear ready to listen, a mouth ready to talk, a person willing to sit alongside you.

I cannot tell you that it will always get better, I’m about honesty on here, but I can tell you that you are never alone, even when you feel like it.

Your friend,

Rawing Meg

xx